I know people have complained that several characters post-ARR are basically whole new characters, and I think it’s true. I feel Lyse got the better end of the deal in the character development hand-outs; she went from ‘bubble-brained comic relief’ to ‘oh crap I have to adult now, it’s scary but I’ll do my best’. Maybe it’s a bit too drastic, but you know what ARR was a bit cartoony overall so I don’t think it’s out of step with the general tone shift. But Thancred went from ‘mischievous perv with an angsty side’ to ‘Batman’, and not even a fun Batman like Estinien. And just to reiterate… I really don’t like his haircut and chin scruff. (Alphinaud’s character development is, of course, perfect, so needs no discussion.)
Chapter 60: The Fall of Doma Castle
Chapter 61: Bitter Dreams
R’nyath ducked through the press of soldiers, looking for his fearless leader. “Achiyo! Hey, hey, over here!”
She turned, startled, from where she had been talking to Raubahn. “R’nyath? What is it?”
“We gotta chat,” he said. “And maybe some other people too, I’m not sure who yet. It’s about Rinala.” He’d seen her walk away from the group, shoulders hunched, ears drooping, and heard her sniffles when she found a place to hide. And there could only be one cause.
Achiyo looked troubled, as expected. “Is something amiss?” Raubahn asked. “I have not seen her since you arrived. I had hoped to.”
“She’s here, but she’s hiding,” R’nyath said. “It’s a personal matter, General – though I know she looks up to you a lot, a word from you could go a long way. But… like… how good are you at helping young women with their love lives?”
A look of faint alarm crossed Raubahn’s craggy face. “I will help if I can, but that is far outside my expertise. I am fond of the lass, so if there is anything I can do, tell me. Regardless of the state of this conflict, we must take care of those we care about.”
“Right on, General,” R’nyath said. “Is it okay to talk now, Achiyo? I know we’re prepping for this big assault, but I have the feeling it’s fairly urgent, and we’ve already put this off too long.”
“Very well,” she said. “Excuse me, General.”
She followed R’nyath as they headed away. He was running through the names of people in his mind to try and figure out how helpful they would be. How come the Scions were so full of people with book intelligence, social intelligence, and no emotional intelligence!? There was also the matter of those who were privy to Rinala’s unspoken feelings. “Let’s also get Tam, and… Lyse in here. I don’t remember if Lyse knows, but she’ll know what to do.”
“All right,” Achiyo said. “And Kekeniro as well, perhaps?”
“Nah, I think he’s saying goodbye to Lilidi still,” R’nyath said, looking around to see if he could find green hair and red Mol robes – Lilidi was much easier to spot than Kekeniro these days. She was going to the Rising Stones to be away from the temptation of battle, now that her pregnancy was starting to show; her loyal retainers would meet her there. “Let’s not distract them now.”
“Very well. Let us meet in that corner when we have found them.”
Five minutes later, the four of them gathered. “What’s wrong?” Lyse asked. “Rinala is upset?”
“I think it’s worse than that,” R’nyath said. “You know how she’s been madly in love with Thancred since forever, right?”
“Right,” Lyse said. “And now he’s gone off on a solo mission just when we got back from being away for a year.”
“Even before that,” R’nyath said. “I’m not sure where to start. But she’s been pining away since… since he disappeared after that stupid banquet in Ul’dah that split us all up. And before that event, he never showed any interest in her, but at least he was upbeat and considerate. I feel like if things hadn’t changed, he would have been able to let her down easy before we got to this state. Sure, she would have been hurting for a while, she’s so sweet and sensitive, but she would have healed normally.”
“But things changing became the understatement of the… decade,” Tam said.
R’nyath nodded. “Ever since he came back from the Lifestream, and learned that Minfilia got called away to Hydaelyn, and is now saving a totally different world, he’s been withdrawn and angry and depressed. I think he needs help too, if he’ll accept it, but we’ve barely seen him since we got back so let’s just wait a little longer and see if he’s changed without us. Meanwhile, Rinala is getting sicker and sicker because she won’t say anything, and he won’t say anything, and she won’t give up being in love with him, and he may not even realize her feelings run that deep.”
“Thancred? The notorious skirt-chaser?” Lyse asked incredulously. “I’m sure he knows she likes him. He’s just being a selfish jerk.”
“He might not know she loves him to the point of pain,” Achiyo said slowly. “I do not believe he would be deliberately cruel. He has not spent significant time with us since we reunited in Dravania. Perhaps he believes her feelings would have faded over time. Perhaps he believes that she is in good cheer regardless of her feelings.”
R’nyath paced a bit, tail flicking in agitation. “We probably should have done something before, but she seemed to be doing better out on the Steppe, not thinking about him all the time. And now we’re back and I think him running off without so much as a ‘hello, Rinala’ has just broken her again. She’s taking that to mean he doesn’t care about her at all, and while I don’t think that’s entirely true, I don’t think he feels anything special for her either.”
Achiyo made a helpless gesture. “But what do we do? How do we help her to heal her heart, so that she is well and whole without accounting for his esteem or lack thereof?”
R’nyath looked around and saw three blank faces looking expectantly at him. He sighed internally. Was he the only person who thought about this stuff? “That’s the question, isn’t it?” he said. “I don’t know. Something has to change.”
“You do realize you invited the nihilistic, unromantic alien to your support group, right?” Tam said.
“Yeah, because you know what’s up with her, you won’t make fun of her, and an outside perspective can help,” R’nyath said.
“Well, Thancred has been known to be an ass when it comes to his girlfriends,” Lyse said. “I understand he used to be quite terrible! Flirting with as many women as would stand his presence, at the same time, making them feel special when they weren’t. Some of them yelled at me just because I was a woman who knew him. Which maybe is why he made a personal policy not to date coworkers. I’m not sure. Whatever made him decide that was before I knew him. But can we tell him to be upfront with her? If he doesn’t know how she feels…”
“Yes, we cannot reveal her feelings to him without her permission,” Achiyo said. “She is just so young…”
“True, maybe she should date some other people, her own age,” Lyse said. “You’ve dated a lot, R’nyath, do you think that would help?”
He sighed. “Maybe, maybe not. I don’t quite understand why she would just focus on the first handsome guy she met as an adult, forever and ever, Twelve preserve. First we have to convince her that it’s not worth being in love with him if it’s harming her.”
“Yes, it makes her a pretty strong liability, doesn’t it?” Tam said. “She seemed fine over in the Far East, like you said. But he’s going to be a distraction to her here. You should have brought Kekeniro in on this discussion.”
“Nah, it’s fine,” R’nyath said. “I’ll hop in on healing if it comes to that. I know I’m not as good as she is, but I’ll keep us up.”
“Let us talk to her first,” Achiyo said. “Her well-being should not be influenced by strategy, but by friendship. Kekeniro will figure out what to do with whatever she decides.”
Rinala felt like she had recovered enough to get ready for the Rhalgr’s Beacon operation. The Resistance was going to capture a strategic bridge, and doing that would help Thancred look for Krile. She would do her best for both of those things.
So she was a bit taken aback and frightened when suddenly R’nyath found her and brought her to Achiyo and Lyse and Tam, and they were all looking at her with pretty serious faces. Well, Tam looked the same as normal. “Am… am I in trouble? Did I do something bad? I’m sorry!”
R’nyath waved his arms frantically, and the others looked consternated. “No, no! It’s important, but you didn’t do anything wrong.”
“W-what is it?” she asked anxiously.
Achiyo took a deep breath. “Rinala… what is Thancred to you?”
Oh no. “H-he’s…” She looked down, trying not to cry again. “I…”
“We can’t tell you what to do or what to feel,” Lyse said kindly. “But you’re just wasting away, and we don’t like to see you in so much pain for no reason.”
For no reason…? “It’s fine! He’s just… busy… and upset about Minfilia… and Krile… and fighting the Empire…”
“We know,” Achiyo said. “And he needs help as well. But right now we are trying to help you. How can we do so?”
She didn’t know. What would solve her problem? They couldn’t change Thancred’s feelings, and they wouldn’t change her feelings…
“What do you want to do?” R’nyath said. “You don’t want to tell him, do you?”
“H-he’ll just reject me,” she said, and broke down. “H-he doesn’t see me as anything but a silly little girl. I d-don’t even think he likes me anymore. B-but I… I love him… I don’t know what to do…” Karasu had told her to give him up. “If you can’t discard that which holds you back, you’ll never move forward.” But how could she?
“Why do you love him?” Tam asked. “If he apparently cares for you so little?”
“B-because he’s… he used to be kind, and f-funny, and…”
“…And… handsome?” R’nyath said.
“W-well, yes, and also… b-behind the surface, he wants so much to help everyone, and he t-tries so hard… But… it’s just…” What did she think would happen? She didn’t even know him anymore, he was like a different person than the man she had met only a few years ago, and she’d just been away an entire year. “If I wait long enough, h-he’ll get better, right? And then m-maybe he’ll see me…”
She sensed them looking at each other. Probably in disgust that she was so deluded. Saying it out loud really made it clear how stupid she was.
“Oh, Rinala,” Lyse said, and pulled her into a hug. Okay, maybe they weren’t disgusted with her. “You’ve spent so long hoping for so little… You can’t wait forever in limbo, it’s hurting you so much.”
“Neither you nor him are in any state to date anyone,” Tam said. “Take it from the 5000-year-old virgin. It sounds selfish, but be yourself first, not Thancred’s groupie.”
“Tam, that’s mean, don’t say it like that,” Lyse said, patting Rinala’s back. “Rinala, we want you to be happy. What do you need that doesn’t have to do with Thancred?”
But she didn’t need anything, she was just useless at managing her feelings, and the hug and Tam’s blunt words were making her cry for five different reasons.
“If you require us to support you with more regularly scheduled…” Achiyo looked at R’nyath. “You would say ‘hanging out’, would you not?”
“You got too much lady training if ‘hanging out’ is unintelligible to you,” R’nyath said. “Yeah, we can hang out. We’ll take turns! You’ll never be alone if you don’t want it.” Well, it wasn’t like they ignored her normally… though that did sound nice…
“Or you can go with Y’shtola to look after convalescent soldiers in Revenant’s Toll,” Achiyo said. “You would still be helping us, but not in the stress of the front lines. Or you may go home and spend time with your family. It has been a long time since you have seen them. You must miss them.”
“I-I-I do,” Rinala said. “But you’re not sending me away, are you?”
“No,” Achiyo said. “We have asked too much of you, and offered too little recompense. I cannot arrange to fulfill your heart’s desire, but I can at least give you time to recover…”
Rinala inhaled, hurt and now angry. “But the rest of you are carrying on without a break! R’nyath, your family only lives a few bells away and you haven’t visited them yet! Achiyo, you haven’t been to Ishgard! And I know you haven’t been planning to take a break and go, even though you have a fiancé! The war needs all of us! Why should I go away? I can still help!”
“That’s not the question,” Achiyo said, her voice growing firmer – like an older sister, and it made Rinala feel more stupid for lashing out. “We have different situations. I do not want you to run yourself into the ground, or die, because you did not feel you were doing enough and pushed yourself beyond your limit. You are doing enough. But you are also unwell, and you have been unwell for some time, and forcing yourself to continue while you are unwell can only end poorly. So you must take care of yourself, and let us take care of you.” Her voice softened. “For you would do the same for me, were I in such need.”
“Raubahn offered to help too, although we didn’t tell him anything,” R’nyath said. “You should go say hi to him, he’ll be very happy to see you. You’ve got friends. It’s totally fine. I’ll do healing during the time that you’re out, so that’s covered. This is totally up to you.”
Rinala took a lot of deep breaths and brought her crying under control. “I-I’ll stay until this battle is over, at least. I want to stay until Ala Mhigo is liberated, I want to see it. But… let me at least decide after the end of this battle.”
“Very well,” Achiyo said, giving her a gentle smile. “You will be able to focus, despite all this?”
Rinala sniffled one last time and felt for the staff on her back. “Yes. I will do my best… and try not to push myself too hard.”
Lyse squeezed her in her hug one last time. “I appreciate you wanting to help me free my country, it means a lot. If you can, take our hope and determination, and lean on them, okay?”
“Okay,” Rinala said. She’d take them through the battle, at least. Ah, and she could see Raubahn again. That would be nice, at least.
Operation Rhalgr’s Beacon was wildly chaotic. Half the available Scions were with Raubahn and the Alliance forces, and the other half were with Conrad Kemp and the Resistance. Achiyo was with Conrad, as were Lyse, Arenvald, Kekeniro, and R’nyath acting as Astrologian. They had come to Castellum Velodyna, to snatch it from behind the Imperials’ backs while the Alliance drew the main enemy force away.
Now Achiyo faced Fordola; the last time she had seen her was during the massacre in Rhalgr’s Reach. Just like then, she faced a desperate, furious woman with burning eyes, but now she faced her under the noon sun, not a smoky twilight. “This bridge belongs to the Empire! I am not about to give it up!”
Achiyo matched her circling steps, her feints, her sudden stabs. “And I will not back down. You cannot hold against me.” Fordola seemed so… young. Rinala was young. Did that mean Achiyo was getting old? She was only… well, she had turned thirty over the last winter…
Fordola snarled, casting an Imperial blasting spell at her. “Hero or not, you’ll die just like all the rest!” Achiyo sidestepped and hoped there had been no one behind her. She must focus.
She was beginning to sweat. The first heavy combat she had seen in two months, and Ala Mhigo was a dry heat, unlike the humid warmth of Doma that she was used to. In the background she heard the screams and groans and clatter of combat; Kekeniro calling out orders, R’nyath cursing quietly as he struggled to stay on top of a role he was not used to.
“This is MY BRIDGE!” Fordola screamed, hacking viciously at her; Achiyo bashed her blade away with her shield. “You are NOT taking this from me!”
“Look! The flag!” Lyse cried, pointing. Suspiciously, both sides backed away from each other, and looked up as a horn began calling from high above.
From the top of the tower of Castellum Velodyna hung an immense violet banner edged in gold. Proudly it blew in the dry wind. On the beam that held it stood M’naago, looking like a mere speck, blowing a great Ala Mhigan warhorn that echoed melodiously from the hills and canyons. Her griffon circled the top of the tower, occasionally calling out in triumph.
Fordola cursed and retreated with her troops, and the Resistance cheered until they were hoarse. Achiyo looked up at the banner and smiled. It was nearly as heartening as taking Doma Castle… and this was only one step on the road.
“A primal,” Aentfryn said. “A bloody primal, here and now.”
“I’m afraid so,” Alisaie said, and sighed. “As if the Empire needed an excuse to start rounding up beastmen again…”
“This is all Fordola’s fault!” Lyse cried furiously.
“Then we shall do our duty,” Achiyo said, trying to calm her.
Alphinaud cleared his throat. “At the risk of sounding hopelessly naive… there may yet be a way to avoid a violent confrontation. In the past, I fear I have been rather too willing to accept that we have no other recourse than to risk our lives – or rather, your lives – to address these threats. Yet the primals we have faced thus far have demonstrated a variety of temperaments and objectives. Ravana may delight in battle, but Ramuh would sooner keep to the forests with his children. Ere we decide to challenge Sri Lakshmi, it would seem wise to learn more of her nature from those who summoned her unto this world.”
Tam raised his eyebrows at the young Elezen. “It would seem wise indeed. Maybe you’re learning something.”
Alisaie frowned at him. “Maybe you can actually help, or be quiet.” Tam chuckled.
“It’s a good thing I didn’t leave yet,” Rinala said quietly to R’nyath. “Just in case, we should have everyone here.”
“We could grab Arenvald,” R’nyath said. “He’s gotten pretty good. Have you made up your mind what you want to do yet?”
“No…”
“Hey, if you don’t want to go too far, you could visit my parents. Then you won’t be all the way in Western Thanalan, but you’ll be with some fellow Miqo’te. They liked having you over last time, it wouldn’t be any bother. And maybe my sisters can help you with boy troubles, I bet they’ve got some experience between them.”
Rinala gave a wan smile. “Thanks for the suggestion.”
The caves of the Qalyana were dark and cool, a welcome respite from the light and heat of the sun outside. The Warriors of Light, with Alphinaud, Alisaie, and Lyse, crept through the caverns to get closer to the primal’s altar. There were a series of pillars holding up the cave roof, and they hid behind those to see and not be seen.
There was the primal – an Ananta larger than life, draped with gorgeous silks in cobalt blue and lotus pink, and with a metallic gold sunburst floating behind her head to proclaim her divinity. “She made us in her image,” Sarisha of the Vira had said, and so did Sri Lakshmi’s bronze skin fairly glow in the blue torchlight, and her copper eyes shimmered like flames. One difference Achiyo noted – where the Ananta had scaled strands covering their heads, the primal had black hair that flowed loose and shining behind her. She hovered above a rich altar covered in gold and jewels and intricate carvings.
“Okay,” R’nyath muttered. “So if they’re serpentine and reproduce asexually… why is it the hips don’t lie?” Achiyo shot him a reproving look. This wasn’t the time for saucy jokes, and whispers carried.
One of the Ananta before the altar had an ornate headdress instead of the veil that most of them wore. She was examining a younger Ananta, who stood dully on her tail, staring blankly straight ahead. The broodmother turned to Lakshmi with a look of distress. “Why, missstresss… Why does my Anamika ssslumber ssstill?”
The primal answered serenely. “Look thee on her face, sssupplicant. Thy prayer hath been anssswered. Flesh sssundered hath been made whole. Blood ssspilt runneth through her veins. Breath ssstolen filleth her breassst.”
The broodmother touched her daughter’s cheek; the girl made no reaction. “But she hears not her mother’s words, nor sssees her mother’s face! She… she is sssilent… and empty…”
“Only the vesssel may be remade. Not so the flame which flickered within. Her soul hath been scattered to the four winds.” The Warriors of Light looked at each other, and at their healers. Anamika had been dead too long to recover. If only…
Alisaie clenched her fist… and stood, walking out into the open. “Now do you see her promises for what they are!?”
“Alisaie, have you gone mad!?” Alphinaud cried from behind his pillar.
“Mayhap I have!” Alisaie cried back. “But I refuse to stand by and watch yet another tragedy unfold!”
“Who intrudes upon thisss sssacred ground!?” demanded the Qalyana guard. “Imperials thirsssting for blood!?” Achiyo slowly got up and stepped out of hiding to standing behind Alisaie. She did not want to threaten them… but she would not allow them to think Alisaie was isolated.
“No! We come not to shed blood but to save you from the false god who would lead you astray!” Alisaie gestured imploringly. “I understand how you feel, I do. You loved her with all your heart, but when the moment came, you still couldn’t save her. The anguish, the anger… I know it only too well. But I also know where this path leads! To embrace a primal is to condemn yourself to an endless cycle of despair. You will never know peace!” Achiyo wondered what she spoke of. Her grandfather’s sacrifice?
“A worm-eaten heart may find peace and ssserenity in ssservice,” said Lakshmi. “In beauty and grace. Thisss hath ever been my promissse. Naught elssse.”
“You tempt them with visions of things that can never be, and leave them bereft and wanting!” Alisaie said, and turned to the broodmother. “No illusion, however sweet, can change the fact that your daughter is gone. Remember as she was! Do not suffer this piteous shade to tarnish her memory!”
Lyse had also risen from hiding, and came striding out to join them. “For every prayer that primal ‘answers’, it’ll demand payment in kind. Do you have any idea how many more Ananta will die to feed its hunger for crystals!?”
Berating the Ananta would only give them the will to argue back, to cement them in their own stance. But before Achiyo could calm her friends, the hint of a frown crossed Lakshmi’s serene face briefly. “They would have thee sssuffer man’s ssspite and live in fear. Far better to dwell in my beauteousss dream than endure ssso ugly a reality.”
“She’s wrong!” Lyse said desperately. “We hate the Empire as much as you! If you’d just listen-”
“Poor, misguided children,” Lakshmi said to them, smiling graciously now. I would ssspare you the tormentsss of thisss cruel and misshapen world. Come, basssk in my radiance. Let it fill your heartsss and free you from your burdens.”
A light bloomed around Lakshmi, and she waved gracefully before her. Orbs of light coalesced and blasted towards them. Achiyo whipped her shield out. Alisaie and Lyse jumped away. Alphinaud yelped and dove to protect Alisaie, knocking her out of the way of the last orb. The other Warriors of Light ran out, and just in time – Lakshmi waved her hand again, and a wave of flaming light crashed towards them. Aentfryn grabbed the prone twins, Vivienne grabbed Lyse, and the others made a wall in front of all of them.
The wave broke against them, sweeping around but leaving the vulnerable Scions untouched. “Oh good,” Tam said. “Tempering. I don’t think I’ve seen that being actively done since… what, Leviathan?”
Lakshmi did not look particularly upset that her attack had failed… but the Ananta before her lifted up their arms in helpless worship to her. “Abide in misery then, fools. The Ananta are more deserving of my blesssing… Leave these lands and my dreamers be. I will not warn you a second time.”
Achiyo looked at them. “Let us pull back a moment.” They nodded, and backed away into the entrance of the room. They had come in via aetheryte, so no one knew where the door would lead, but they had to speak away from the Ananta. “Are you three all right?”
“I’m fine,” Lyse said. “You protected us. But is there really no way we can fight alongside you without being turned into one of her dreamers?”
“I knew things were not going to end well the moment she stepped out of hiding,” Alphinaud muttered.
Alisaie sighed. “I know, I know, it was stupid and foolish but… but I had to try, Achiyo. I had to. I had to try… and I failed. So you have to fight. There is no other way.”
“It is no crime to try,” Achiyo said. “To seek connection, to pursue mercy and understanding.” Only… perhaps Alphinaud ought to be the one to undertake delicate diplomacy. But she did not say that out loud.
“It means a lot to hear you say that. It does. But it doesn’t make it any easier to have to ask you to face that… that thing.” Alisaie straightened up and squared her shoulders with a deep breath. “We can but do that which is within our power. Lyse, Alphinaud, and I will go and seize their crystal stores. This will not happen again. And you… When it is finished… we will be waiting for you.”
“Worry not,” Achiyo said. “Be safe. We shall all weather this trial.”
The three Scions nodded, and headed carefully through the doorway. Achiyo looked to the Warriors of Light. “Are we ready?”
“Absolutely!” Chuchupa said. “Though… How’m I gonna punch her if she floats?”
“I’m sure you’ll figure something out,” Vivienne retorted. “Sprain her tail or something.”
One by one, they all nodded. And so she led them back out to the open space. The broodmother had withdrawn, with her daughter’s body, but the guards were ready for them.
The guards were no match for them; they were crafters, not warriors. Achiyo tried to be merciful, and not strike to kill; this was not Thanalan or La Noscea, and they might treat even with the Tempered in the future. When the Qalyana had all been brought low and retreated groaning in pain, she pointed her blade at Lakshmi. “We have no interest in your lands, nor your people. But we cannot suffer you to live.”
“Then your lives are forfeit,” Lakshmi said, and gestured – and the cavern around them transformed. Now they stood on a wide raised platform with an ornate floor with a beautiful lotus design in opal and gold; Achiyo glanced down and hoped that they could maintain their footing on it. Holy light streamed from Lakshmi’s golden crown and rays, and music flowed from groups of Ananta who gathered around the edge of the platform with instruments.
Lakshmi smiled down upon her people, then stretched out her arms laden with golden bracelets to the Warriors of Light. “Open your heartsss to me!”
Achiyo cast Holy Spirit at her. Keep your eyes on me. Trouble not my companions. She glanced at Vivienne, but they knew their jobs; Kekeniro would have her take over if anything drastic happened. The music was seductively beautiful, inviting everyone to dance, to dance sinuously as the Ananta did, singing of desire and passion. She must not be distracted.
Lakshmi, being a primal, did not seem to notice their attacks. Even blows that should have rent her skirts into expensive rags did not seem to have an effect, leaving her as flawless as if they had been attacking her with feathers. Meanwhile, she blasted them with light, with ethereal lotus flowers and blinding spells; Achiyo could not monopolize the whole of her attention, and the others still had to be quick on their toes.
The primal drew away from them, reaching out to them with youthful laughter. “Ressst your weary sssouls in my bosom. Partake of my life and my love…”
“Uhh… uhh… Shields?” Kekeniro called. “She’s going to try and Temper us to death- Rinala-!”
Achiyo had backed away to join the group, and suddenly found her eyesight growing dim with pink fog. And then clear again, but not with the opalescent cavern around them… Before her stood a man, with shaggy, greying hair, and battered old armour, a plain shield on his back and a straight sword at his side… “P-Per…cival…?”
He turned and smiled at her, and reached out a hand to her.
She took a stumbling step forward before she remembered. Percival was dead. Dead and buried five years. And if he had not died… she would never have met Aymeric. Even in her dreams she remembered Aymeric. “Begone, shade!”
“Not to your liking?” Lakshmi’s voice whispered in her ears, and Percival vanished. Achiyo caught a brief glimpse of the primal’s face, huge and godly, in the distance in the pink fog. “Thisss dream I do not understand, but as you wish…”
Suddenly Achiyo felt hands on her body as if her clothes and armour were incorporeal and she breathed the scent of pines and steel – a low, satisfied hum in her horned ear that could only belong to one man just before she felt a warm, firm mouth kiss her neck at the point where semi-sensitive scales met fully-sensitive skin. She shuddered, and the hands clasped her against a tall, firm body, sliding to caress her waist-
She broke away with a gasp and a violent shake. “No!” The illusion fell away. Even if her carefully-controlled desire for Aymeric could not be fulfilled before they were wed, and she had no idea when that wedding might be, she had no interest in a mere fantasy.
Lakshmi stood before them, a slight frown marring her perfect face. Achiyo glanced at the others… and did a double-take as Rinala collapsed to the floor, aether streaming from her to Lakshmi.
“Give that back, you freak!” Vivienne shouted, dashing forward to interrupt the Primal.
“I got her!” Kekeniro called. “Aentfryn, be ready!”
Achiyo joined Vivienne. What had happened to Rinala? Had she been unable to resist whatever vision Lakshmi had shown her…? Whatever had happened, Rinala was back on her feet, moving too slowly, but she was awake. Achiyo laid on her blows harder.
“I shall free you from your hate!” Lakshmi cried. “Sssurrender to blisss.”
“Go away!” R’nyath yelled. “Even your dreams are bitter!”
Lakshmi shuddered, writhed, and poofed into aether. She had not been one of the stronger primals they had fought. The music stopped with a jangle as the Ananta grabbed their instruments and fled.
“Rinala, are you all right?” R’nyath ran to the White Mage and put his arms around her, holding her tightly. “You haven’t gone down before, have you?”
“I’m s-sorry,” Rinala stammered. “I… didn’t… I shouldn’t have…”
Achiyo and Kekeniro shared a look; a cold shiver ran down her spine. She had not realized Rinala had died. “Rinala, you must go and rest now,” Achiyo said. “You are not in a state to continue fighting.”
“I’m sorry,” Rinala said, descending into sniffles as Achiyo knew she would. She felt awful making her cry so much, but… she would feel worse if she died. “I know I’m useless…”
“Hey!” Vivienne barked, and Rinala jumped. “Nobody said that. You’ve sodding well saved the day dozens of times in the past. You were instrumental in this fight as usual while you were alive. But you’re a liability right now, to yourself and to us. If you can’t accept that, you shouldn’t be in the field at all.”
“Gently!” R’nyath said, pivoting Rinala away from Vivienne and glaring at her over Rinala’s shoulder. “She’s not tough like you!”
“When lives are at stake, you can’t coddle-” Vivienne began.
“Enough!” Achiyo said, loudly enough that everyone shut up and looked at her. Wasn’t this one of the responsibilities of a leader? She did not like it. “You do not know everything, Vivienne, nor do you need to. I will handle it.”
Vivienne grumbled under her breath, but subsided. Achiyo turned to Rinala. “Never think that we are ungrateful, Rinala, nor that we think you weak.” But Vivienne was also right. Rinala was deteriorating fast. “And you must recover. We would grieve you terribly if you died.”
Rinala sagged. “Yes. Okay. I will go home.”
“Thank you,” Achiyo said, making herself smile. “Your trust means a lot to us.”
Lyse hurried in to the room. “You did it again. You saved them. I just wish I could’ve been more help…” She gestured with a thumb behind her. “So it looks like the Ananta did have a mountain of crystals after all. Like every other tribe. Gods, we’re all such slaves to our weaknesses…”
The broodmother slithered in, leading her dead daughter by the hand. “You! You ssslew our Missstresss! She was our hope, our sssalvation! Is there no end to your cruelty!?”
Lyse stepped forward, holding out her hands to her. “Listen to me, please! I know that you’re only trying to protect yourselves bcause you feel frightened and alone… But that’s how we all feel, don’t you see? If we could just turn to each other for help instead of the gods, I’m sure we could find a way to live in peace! Your crystals are important to you, aren’t they? Reflections of your souls, right? Well, you shouldn’t have to sacrifice something so precious to a primal…”
“Who are you to quessstion our choice?” spat the broodmother. “You who fight without fear? We wish only to live in peace, and if thisss be the price we must pay, then ssso be it!”
Lyse lowered her hands; her shoulders slumped. “I know there’s nothing I can say to convince you. But I hope that one day you look back and see we only ever wanted the same thing.”
“Begone, damn you! Ssspare me your hollow words and leave me to mourn.” The broodmother turned away from them.
“I’ll go… but it doesn’t mean I’m giving up. Gyr Abania is our home too, and one way or another, we’re going to have to learn to live together.” She turned to the Warriors of Light. “Come on. Alphinaud and Alisaie are waiting.”
Achiyo sat on the edge of the cliff of the Peering Stones, gazing out into the deepening dusk; one leg was drawn up to her chest and one hand had a cup of wine. Alliance Command had insisted that the Scions themselves take a rest, and M’naago’s family had graciously opened their home to the lot of them.
She was still thinking over the visions Lakshmi had shown her. What would she give to have any of her lost parents back? Should she feel guilty that she had come to love Percival as much as her birth parents, that she thought of him before she thought of them? But like any other death, she must accept it. There was no bargaining. She should not think such thoughts. She had chosen a new family, a new father, and… if they still accepted her as a daughter, perhaps she…
As for the second part of the vision… she was horribly conflicted. She wanted to feel Aymeric’s touch, someday, under the right circumstances… but the fact that the primal had given her this falsehood, pleasurable though it had been for the second that she permitted it… She shuddered. It was wrong.
She had not seen him in too long. The few short letters they had traded were not enough. And she did not know when she would be free to go to Ishgard. This reprieve would not be long.
Vivienne plopped herself down beside her in a swish of chainmail. “So what vision did you get?”
“Percival,” Achiyo answered – the safe, understandable answer. “You?”
Vivienne hummed low in her throat. “It’s… complicated. But I… I hung up my sword. A nice fairytale, for a few seconds.”
“Perhaps,” Achiyo said. “Perhaps it is a future we can still strive towards. Not granted by primal magic; not easily won. But not a wholly impossible dream.”
“Aye… Though I don’t care to know how much blood and sweat will go to making that possible,” Vivienne said.
“Not tears?” Achiyo said.
“I don’t like to cry,” Vivienne said. “What’s Rinala’s deal, then? Why do you think she went down?”
She had already told her she didn’t have to know. But the heat of the moment was gone; it was probably fine now. She glanced over at one of the campfires, where Rinala, M’naago, and Lyse were chatting. Lyse was giving M’naago a hard time about something and M’naago was giving it right back. “I would not presume to know… but I would guess she saw something of Thancred. And she has spent so long repressing her feelings that such a temptation was too much to bear.”
Vivienne sighed. “She needs to get her head on straight.”
“We’re working on it,” R’nyath said, coming up behind them. “Guess what I got shown.”
“Hilda,” Vivienne said.
“Not quite.”
“G’raha.”
“Almost!”
“Tell me, idiot cat.”
R’nyath chuckled. “Every lover I’ve ever had, in a harem. Some of us just wanna be loved.”
“Become a Nunh,” Vivienne said. “Settle that problem right quick.”
“Nah,” R’nyath said. “Nunhs don’t generally go adventuring, it would be irresponsible.”
“Sounds about right for you,” Vivienne said, and R’nyath clutched his chest in melodramatic offence. Achiyo chuckled.
“At least we can rest safely for one night,” she said, and started, nearly spilling the remains of her wine, as the other two suddenly winced.
Achiyo was sleeping in a tent, and somehow Vivienne knew it was not long after the previous horrible vision she’d seen from her past. The Au Ra was waking; she breathed deeply and retched, although all Vivienne could smell was the campfire – ah, the fire. There had been fire in the last Echo. Percival’s hand came to rest on her shoulder. “It’s all right, my girl. We’re safe. For now, anyway. You’ve slept the night.”
Achiyo lay quietly for a long minute, taking deep breaths. “Why did my wound start to hurt again?” she asked finally. She pushed the blanket of her bedroll down and felt under her tunic.
“The conjurer wasn’t very skilful,” Percival said. “I could almost do a better job just from having grown up in Gridania, the home of conjury. So it was sort of healed for our march back, but when we suddenly had to run, it tore open again internally. I suspect, anyway. I gave you another potion while you were sleeping, but I think you’re just going to have to rest until it fixes up now, because we’re out. The samurai are gone, but it’s fine. We completed the job.”
“Very well.”
“At least you’re on your way to building a scar collection,” Percival tried to joke, but a tremour in his voice betrayed him and he half-covered his face with a hand. There were dark shadows under his eyes. “It’s a gnarly one, you’ll either want to show it off at every opportunity, or keep it as hidden as possible so as not to distract from your pretty face.”
“I don’t think I’m so vain either way,” Achiyo said thoughtfully. Well, Vivienne had certainly never seen any part of her body, let alone what scars lay on it. “I’ve seen your scars many times. They’re only a part of you. …I’m sorry I made you worry.”
He shook his head. “Don’t worry about it. You’ve done the same for me.”
Next question, after a pause to contemplate. “Why did he shoot her?”
Percival shrugged. “He obviously didn’t agree with how she was running things, and if you’re high-enough rank, you can do anything, including murder your subordinates. Especially out here in the provinces, to a non-Garlean. Or maybe he was just power-tripping. Or feeling spiteful.”
“I believe she was trying her best,” Achiyo said. Sympathy? For a… well, he’d said non-Garlean. The captain had probably been one of those conscripts from another land, their families held hostage, forced to use their skills to subjugate yet more nations to the Garlean yoke… And now apparently she’d been shot by… a superior officer. Tragic. Typical.
“I think she probably was. Nothing about this situation was good for anyone. …Just don’t forget whose fault it truly is.”
“The Garleans’?” she asked. He nodded. “It was horrible,” she whispered. “The fire, the screaming, the confusion… They might have committed crimes, but they were just ordinary, desperate people.”
He reached out to hold her hand and squeezed it. “I know. I… know I’ve said a lot about integrity and getting the job done even if you don’t like it, but… there’s exceptions for actual evil, and we haven’t talked enough about it. There’s a line for everyone. And we crossed it.”
Achiyo swallowed, guilt shining in her eyes.
“I was actually going to hold you back,” he said. “Once I realized what was happening, once I got over my… I was going to take you and run, contract be damned. Kaien would understand, even if it caused him problems. But I couldn’t find you, until I saw you fall wounded. And then of course it was too late.”
“We couldn’t get out of it,” she said in agony. “Kami, I wish… I wish we could have. She might not have killed us.”
“She probably would have,” Percival said. “A choice between killing deserting mercenaries, and possibly dooming her family back home to death? Not a choice at all.” After a pause, he muttered: “At least we fulfilled our contract with Kaien – for whatever good that is.”
Achiyo looked absolutely miserable, and Vivienne didn’t blame her. “What a horrible way to die… Innocent blood is on my hands.”
Well, thought Vivienne, maybe they were more alike than they had thought. Vivienne’s hands certainly were not clean in her long years of nursing her anger and hatred. It had taken a long time to temper her emotions. At least Achiyo did not have the millstone of anger around her neck. And whatever guilt she bore did not hold her back.
Percival leaned in, gripping her hand tightly. “No. Listen to me, Achiyo. Listen to me. That’s not all. You risked your life to help that kid. Not just from the people we were fighting trying to kill you to rescue the kid, but from Imperials noticing you were helping them. You shed your own blood in their defence and no one will thank you for it. Sometimes there’s no right thing to do. You did your very best in a situation no one should ever have to be in, and I am so, so proud of you for the choices you made.” And this guy said he was not Achiyo’s dad? Vivienne would have killed to have a trainer so supportive.
Achiyo’s emotions would not be calmed so easily. “Why did we stay? Why could we not have gone to Eorzea? I know it pains you and yet we would have been truly free there – we could fight the Empire there – we-”
“I know,” he said, bowing his head. “I know. I’m to blame. I’m sorry.”
“Back there, you said… ‘It’s happening again’.” Yes, Vivienne had been wondering about that as well, a horrible suspicion growing in her mind.
He turned away. “I… once was in a situation almost exactly like that night. Burning village at night, insurgents turning out to be normal people… Right down to kids being caught in the crossfire.”
Achiyo gasped in horrified sympathy. “To live it once was a nightmare. To live it twice…”
“I hate that I can’t escape it,” he said. “You wondered why I never talk about myself. I… I can’t. You followed bad orders on pain of death. I…”
“I understand.”
“You have to live, no matter what,” he whispered, looking at her with sudden intensity. “Then maybe I’ll feel like I’ve made up a little for my sins.”
“Even if I gather sins of my own?”
He fell silent, and there they stayed for a long time, holding each other’s hand.
Vivienne came out of it, staring at Achiyo. Did she dare ask? To ask if this man, who had raised her friend from a young child, who had given Achiyo compassion and honour and love, was the same man who had burned down her Duskwight village? How many times could villages have burned – and it had been over twenty years ago, hadn’t it? And he was from Gridania, wasn’t he?
She couldn’t ask. She didn’t want confirmation. Did Achiyo suspect, knowing Vivienne’s past? Would she suspect, if one of the others brought it up? She hoped not. She didn’t want Achiyo to have to carry those sins as well. She had enough to bear, and this was between Percival and Vivienne – if the connection was true. But it had nothing to do with Achiyo, no matter that she had had a similar experience.
If it was true, could she forgive him? She had spent decades hating those who had done it, though she had killed half of them herself in desperation at the time. She had not been prepared to face the idea that at least one of the participants was a decent, manipulated, guilt-ridden man. Her child’s perspective had painted them all as soulless monsters. But even if there had been a soulless monster in the Twin Adder’s High Command who had ordered the attack, that didn’t mean all the soldiers were, and that was a new thought to her even though it shouldn’t have been. Even though she’d known a few soldiers since then herself. R’nyath himself was an ex-Quiverman.
But if it were true… Achiyo’s accomplishments did not cancel out Percival’s crimes. But Achiyo had certainly done many great things since she’d come to Eorzea.
Just maybe, if Achiyo helped them save the world, it could make up for Vivienne’s family murdered and her home torched. Maybe both of their sufferings could be justified in the hope of a new tomorrow. Suffering and justice didn’t work that way, she knew. But it was a thought that brought comfort, cold though it might be.
“Are you all right?” Achiyo asked anxiously. “You look grieved. What was it this time?”
“Aftermath of the last one,” R’nyath answered for them. “You and Percival in a tent, you were still wounded, talking about… why you ended up working with Garleans at all.” He put his head on one side. “And Percival had done it before? Attacked a village?”
Achiyo’s face became unreadable. “If you saw that, then I know no more about it than you. That was all he ever spoke on it.”
“He…” Vivienne began, and stopped. If Achiyo didn’t know, that was… a relief. “Never mind. Achiyo, you said your parents died because of bandits.”
“Yes,” Achiyo said. “I was not there.”
Vivienne stared out into the night. The stars were growing brighter. She should have talked about this sooner, but better now than never. “You asked me, after the last Echo, if I hated you for what you did. The answer is still no. I… am upset to know that you did that, that you were a part of something like that. It’s not who you appear to be. But I don’t hate you.”
“Who do I appear to be?” Achiyo asked quietly.
“A hero,” Vivienne said wistfully. “Someone I could never be. Someone who could never do such a thing, because your conscience is too pure to allow it. But… that is who you are. You really are a hero.”
“You have become a hero too,” Achiyo said. “When we met, we were both only mercenaries.”
Vivienne shook her head. “I have too little patience and mercy to be a hero. I’ll do the dirty work for the rest of you, and I’m fine with that. But that’s not important. You really are a good soul, even if you were caught up in that. Your parents died to bandits. Mine died to a burning village. You burned a village, and regretted it. Maybe I acted like a brigand in my own past, and maybe I regret that. So… you have as much right to hate me as I do to hate you. It just hasn’t come up between us yet. We’re even, as far as I’m concerned.”
“I am sorry,” Achiyo said.
“Don’t be,” Vivienne said irritably. “Don’t feel guilty over what you can’t change. You put your life on the line every day to make the world a better place. Right?” She looked at R’nyath.
R’nyath had been listening seriously, and nodded vigorously. “Absolutely she does.”
“So let’s not hear any guilt from you, Silver Lady,” Vivienne said, got up and stretched. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Author’s note: I once heard a criticism of FFXIV Lakshmi that if she’s the creator of the Ananta and they were made in her image (or, because of how primals work, she is summoned in their image), how come her children don’t look like her? (and why does she look Slavic to me??) I think that’s valid, so I have palette-swapped a bit to make it more harmonious. (The hair is also an issue, they seem to have scales instead of hair, which is great for really selling the idea that they’re not mammalian (they also have quite flat chests which helps with that too), but reconciling that was a step too far for me to puzzle out a design.)
When Alisaie talks about not being able to save someone, she might be referring to an incident in her short story on the Lodestone website, A Malm in Her Shoes. It’s a sad little story… but Alisaie has such good one-liners. Also if you haven’t yet, you gotta read A Calm After the Storm which is about that tea party Alisaie promises to Lyse and Y’shtola back in the Ruby Sea. The illustrations in the hardcover version are adorable!
(there are still 20 quests before the end of 4.0…. ahhhhh)