I’m almost done all the Voltron fanstuff! Just one more picture to do, and I’ll be completely done… until Season 2 comes out in February or whatever. Dangit.
I’m also at like 49,000 words, which is kind of unfair, but that means Akuliina actually has a brief purpose besides throwing drama in my head.
EDIT: added a bit now that I’ve seen S6. Some slightly steamy fluff with ~*foreshadowingggg*~ ooOOOoooo
EDIT: threw in some foreshadowing for S7 too!
Part 4: Solace
He woke gradually, prodded awake by small fingers, hair brushing his eyelids. “Mmph. What?”
“I think you were having a bad dream again,” Elslince said from beside him, as he rolled over to face her. “You were breathing fast and trying to speak and pulling on my hair.”
He raised his hand into the air where he could see it and several thick broken strands were wound around his fingers. “Sorry.”
“Do you remember it?”
“No… not really.” He took a deep breath, gathering his sleep-muddled thoughts, pulling Elslince closer to him, tucking her head under his chin. “Just fragments, that’s all I ever get. Sendak… Haggar… my own face, but with yellow eyes and a hate-filled grin… Everything’s dark, and I’m all alone, I can’t find anyone I know… I look down and my arm is gone, and everything hurts, my arm hurts, my face hurts… Even when the pain is gone, I just feel so hopeless, and helpless, and afraid.” He managed a lopsided grin. “That’s why I didn’t sleep a lot before, why I spent all my nights working out.”
“And you’re all the more beautiful for it, with your strong body, but it isn’t good for you to skip sleep.” Slim hands slid up towards his broad shoulders.
“I was never a small skinny guy, but I never looked like this until I started at the Galra Prison Gym,” he tried to joke. “Gotta get fit to get fed.” It wasn’t a very good joke. He’d been lucky in the arena. He’d already been young and strong and agile, and trained in combat – even if he hadn’t had to use that part of his training as a scientific exploration pilot. Most of the others, that he could remember, hadn’t had those advantages.
And yeah, he’d had to get stronger – if he didn’t win, he didn’t eat – but if he didn’t win, he’d have been dead, so there was that, too.
Elslince hadn’t been distracted. “It doesn’t help, to know that I’m here with you? You still feel alone?”
“I… yeah. I know you’re here, El. It just never translates into my dreams.” He’d moved into her room a short while back. Not for shenanigans – they were still in pyjamas, it wasn’t time for that sort of thing, not in their relationship, not in their lives. Not with all they’d lived through and all they had to continue to endure, not yet. Maybe someday. No, he shared her room just to be together. And she talked him into sleeping at normal hours instead of restlessly avoiding his sleep half the nights, and he agreed, because he’d hoped she would be able to help with the nightmares.
So far that hadn’t been true… but he still didn’t want to leave. Her companionship was soothing, and she was so patient with him. And being in her room… he could smell the earth, the plants, and it reminded him that although he wasn’t due to see Earth, see home again anytime soon, he wasn’t any longer a prisoner of a hateful empire, cold and bloody and metallic. And that there was more to life than the Castle of Lions, than even the Black Lion he was bonded to – also cold and metallic. He was free… even if he would never be free of the scars, physical, mental, emotional…
He sighed, still tired, and wriggled until he could pillow his head on her chest. Now he could smell her, in addition to the plants, and she smelled fresh and strange, like citrus, oddly enough. Her fingers stroked his short hair, and her hair swept over him, binding him to her.
She was alive, she was life, and he was death in comparison; she was green and he was black and white; she breathed in his arms, and her alien heart beat in her ribcage under his ear the same as his own did. She hoped, she believed, she inspired him to do the same when he was on the verge of breaking under the game face he presented to the team. Her presence dispelled the unquiet cloud that always gathered over him when he woke from a half-remembered dream, and his demons could sleep for a while – and maybe let him do the same. She’d even accepted his arm, the one she’d feared before, the one he still feared even though it was part of him and hadn’t done anything too strange yet.
She wasn’t his cure, but she was his lifeline.
He was still a little afraid for her. She’d followed him into the depths of space because she liked him; if she got hurt out here, if the Galra took her from him, it would all be his fault. If his arm revealed its secrets in a way that got her hurt or killed… Or even if he himself got killed, leaving her alone here… taking away another person she cared about…
“I’m here for you,” she said, and it took him a minute to remember they’d been talking about his nightmare. “No matter how long you need to heal, no matter what wounds you’ll take and hardships you’ll endure on this quest, I’ll be here for you. Because you’re a strong, beautiful person, inside and out, and I love you for it. For your patience and kindness, your respect and determination and your scars, I love all of you, Takashi Shirogane. Even if you go somewhere I can’t follow, my heart will go with you.”
“I…” his voice caught, his heart skipped… “I love you, Elslince. You…” He’d been so eloquent in his head a minute ago, but his mouth failed him in actually expressing it out loud.
It wasn’t like she was his first love, even. There had been Adam, and Shiro had loved him deeply, and been loved in return. But things… hadn’t worked out. It wasn’t Adam’s fault, it had been all his. And Elslince had entranced him, he’d fallen for her gradually but completely, couldn’t help loving her just as much as ever he’d loved him, and maybe he could do things right this time. But he certainly couldn’t say that out loud. He just… sucked at communicating intimately, and he knew it.
Well, if he couldn’t express it with words, there were other ways he could tell her, and he turned his head to place a heartfelt kiss on her collarbone. He felt her lips answering on his forehead and he moved, pulling himself up so he was leaning over her, kissing her deeply on the mouth. Her arms wound around his neck, pulling him close, feeding his desperate desire to adore her. Or was it feeding her desperate desire to adore him? In any case, this kiss told him he would – probably, maybe – be okay with never seeing Earth again if he could see the galaxy with Elslince beside him.
He released her, and they were both gasping for air. She was smiling, her eyes shining in the illumination from the dim teal-blue nightlight on the other side of the room. Such alien eyes, star-shaped pupils wide in the darkness, yet so full of such a familiar love.
“Do you feel better?” she asked softly.
“Yeah.”
She pushed him off and rolled him over, spooning him against his broad back. “Then you should try and sleep again. I’ll be right here.”
“Right.” He caught her hand and kissed it. “Right here. Got it.”
“Good night, Shiro.”
“Night, El.”
Their plan was set. The Castle was ready. The super-teladuv was ready. The Blade of Marmora was ready, hopefully – their alliance with Team Voltron still seemed shaky to her.
But Shiro was the first one to leave, off with the Black Lion to be bait for Zarkon. So of course she followed him down to the Black Lion hangar. He was expecting her, it seemed, and set his helmet down for a minute so he could pull her into the shadow of one of the Lion’s legs and kiss her soundly. With her pre-battle nerves zinging through her, she responded feverishly, her fingers trembling against his armoured back. She appreciated how strong and solid he seemed, her rock to lean on even as he prepared to go and do the actual difficult part of the mission.
He pulled back and looked down at her fondly. “Nervous?”
“A bit,” she admitted, looking away shyly.
“Me too. It’ll be better once I get into the cockpit.”
“I shouldn’t be,” she babbled, “it’s not the first time I’ve gone into combat… but I suppose it’s the first time I’ve gone into combat on a spaceship while the one I love is out fighting away from me.” She gave him a lopsided smile. “Fly well.” She didn’t have to tell him to be careful, or to fight hard. He would do that on his own, and the Black Lion would keep him safe. Perhaps safer than she was. Even so, she couldn’t help but worry – anything could happen.
“I will. Stay safe. …Just a sec, if you don’t mind…” He picked her up, pinning her against the wall of the Black Lion’s paw so that he didn’t have to bend down to kiss her, and kissed her hard through her startled but enthusiastic squeak. Her legs locked around his waist to keep her from falling, and the way he was leaning into her – she felt her blush spreading down her neck and shoulders. His tongue was sliding into her mouth and she was conscious of nothing but him, his body, his scent, his sounds, his strength. She had to concentrate to keep her hair in check, that it didn’t tangle in his hair or something else awkward.
She was gasping for air by the time he next released her, eyes sparkling, cheeks burning, and he looked a little flushed and dazed himself. “Shiro – we – must focus.” Patience yielded focus, wasn’t it? They had to be patient. They could kiss until trees walked when Zarkon was defeated.
“But your nerves are gone, right?” That smile was infinitely sweet and loving, even through the mischievousness that prompted it. How could this man exist?
“Y-yes,” she stammered, as he let her down. Her knees were unsteady solely because of him, now, not because of her fear for him. One more quick smooch, and they let go of each other. She backed away as he scooped up his helmet and set it on his head. “I’ll be waiting.”
“I’m counting on it.” A wink, and he turned to vanish into the Black Lion.