Whoa, got kind of steamy in here. But I think I salvaged it.

 

Stay With Me

Home! Home, home, home. Endless plains of grass, green and brown and yellow, with the occasional prickly thicket of brush and scrub. Gently rolling hills as far as the eye could see, vast blue sky arching over us, the summer sun burning down on us. The scent of the wind on my face! Ah, I was so happy!

I wasn’t sure whether to jump for joy, tackle my lover, or fall to the ground and roll around in the grass a lot. Maybe all three. Possibly at the same time.

I felt his eyes on me and turned to look at him, grinning my face off. “I’m home!”

“Yes, you are,” he said, responding to my smile.

I leaned over and kissed him quickly, then went skipping off in the direction we were traveling. We’d stop in at Bulgar to get resources, and then begin our plan of attempting to make a life here, at least for a while, without grand quests looming over us. Just to take things slow for a while, and rest after all the excitement of the early summer.

Both were hard to believe – first, that I was home finally, after almost a year and a half, and secondly, that Ceniro had agreed to come with me, to stay with me for a while. “After all, it’s not like you sit in one place all the time,” he had said, and I agreed. His wanderlust wouldn’t be completely starved. Although I hoped he didn’t get bored of it. I could never get bored of Sacae, but to someone not raised there, I could see how it might get a bit the same all the time.

We’d parted from Hector and Eliwood in Badon, although not before they threw a big party that had the whole town talking. Ceniro almost refused payment, but both of them insisted. Eventually he relented but had them send almost all the promised money to his parents. He was so thoughtful! Even if he wasn’t going to visit them. He was almost as bad as Wil in that respect…

After Badon, we went to Caelin with the Caelin knights, where my grandfather was almost recovered, and certainly beginning to be publicly busy again. We stayed a week to visit, then left them all to continue to Sacae. My grandfather wanted me to take Kent and Sain again, and Florina and Wil and Fiora would gladly have come, and Wallace almost came along anyway, but I really wanted this just to be our time, for Ceniro and me.

So after a week, we set off by ourselves, unafraid of bandits. Grandfather gave us horses, although Ceniro designated his as the pack horse and kept walking. It made things slower, but he didn’t mind if I galloped out in front and back again, trading horses occasionally to give them both exercise. He still had the farseer, he could watch over us both and talk to me even when I was a little ahead of him.

And sometimes I did join him in walking. I had learned a bit how to appreciate the landscape while traveling with him before, but now that it was just the two of us, he was more talkative than when we were in a group, and I learned much more than before. He pointed out more things, and I saw just how nothing ever got past him, even if it was just an interesting tree or a distant castle. And I loved how alight his face was, even if it was subtle, just slightly brighter than his usual placid look.

We were lucky on this journey; no bandits threatened us, though we passed through North Bern as we had done before. When we made it into Sacae, I stopped at the shrine where the Mani Katti had lived, and placed the Sol Katti there. It was too strong for me to use on bandits, especially after Lord Athos had beefed it up with holy magic. I was sure Eliwood and Hector would be locking Durandal and Armads away right away, especially Eliwood.

In Bulgar, we bought a small ger, with money Grandfather had also given me, and loaded it onto Ceniro’s horse. We traveled west a few days before deciding the spot we’d found, on a little hill near a stream, was good enough. I didn’t see any trace of other tribes around, or bandits either, and to my knowledge, we weren’t close to any of the traditional hunting or grazing grounds of the big tribes.

I wondered what had happened to the land traditionally claimed by the Lorca. I wondered what had happened to the other survivors. It wasn’t the time to try to build a new clan, we had only just arrived, but that little seed of a dream remained in my heart, as it had ever since I’d woken up to find my parents dead.

I tried not to let it get me down, especially since I was showing Ceniro how to put up the ger.

“And you did this all by yourself for a while?” he asked, puffing and blowing under the hot sun. The roof poles were all finally up; now we needed to put on the felt covering and the canvas outer cover, and tie it all down so it didn’t blow off again. We’d been working for an hour already, and there was still an hour’s work left to go.

“I didn’t move as often on my own,” I told him. “The crown was a bit of an issue, but I managed. We’ll probably move in a couple weeks, before the animals get too wary of my bow.”

“And we have to do this all over again, but backwards?”

I arched an eyebrow at him. “Are you suggesting you’d rather sleep on the bare ground, under the open sky, for the rest of the summer?”

He turned a bit red. “No… but a tent would be easier.”

“And much less comfortable,” I pointed out. “This will be proper living, not just camping.”

He blushed some more and looked away awkwardly. “Sorry.”

I was confused and tilted my head at him, eyes wide. “Hm? For what?”

“I shouldn’t… That is, I’m used to… I mean…”

“You’re not used to how Sacaeans live,” I said, and he nodded sheepishly. “That’s fine. That’s why I’m going to show you. I’m not mad.” I looked at the ger frame. “But seriously, we’ve been living out of tents for at least two months, and I’d been living in a castle for a year before that. It’s time to live like a normal person again.”

He chuckled a little. “I look forward to learning what your normal is.”

“Good,” I said, a little shortly, and reached for the bundle of felt. “Take this end here.”

 

He was looking rather pleased with himself by the time we finished building it. “That was all right, wasn’t it?”

“You did well for your first time,” I praised him. “I think it’s definitely time for dinner.”

“When I first met you, you had a fire inside.”

I raised both eyebrows at him. “I did, did I? And how about now?”

He blushed and laughed. “I meant, inside the ger. Your inner fire is always burning bright.”

“Yes, I did. I’m actually surprised you remember. I’ll get that set up. You spread the rugs around the firepit.”

“I will, but I’m also almost as hungry as when we met.”

“Just give me a moment, ravenous man.” I swatted him.

 

We ate, our first meal together in our first real home together. It was almost like we were already married. But we weren’t. Which was fine, but we hadn’t talked about it yet. We should probably do that. But there were other things I wanted to talk about first, less scary things.

We were sipping tea after dinner, watching the light lengthen across the plains from our front door when actually he brought up the first topic himself. “So we’re just going to see how this goes for a while, hmm?”

“Right,” I said. “I know we ought to talk about lots of important, responsible things that don’t have to do with fighting or logistics, but I… I don’t really know how to start.”

“Our past conversations have tended towards simpler things,” he agreed, maybe a little sardonic. “And I’m sorry again about saying stupid things this afternoon.”

He’d been worrying about that? “Don’t trouble yourself over it,” I said. “Like I said, I forgive you.” I’m just happy you’re here with me. Even if I’m being uncomfortably snappy for some reason.

“Yes, but I feel… I’m just a dumb Lycian…”

“Shh,” I shushed him sharply. “You’re far from dumb, silly. I figured you don’t know a whole lot about my people, even if you respect them. Which I’m grateful for, by the way.” I made an effort to soften my voice and it seemed to work.

He lowered his gaze. “It’s important. I’m not trying to romanticize your people either. I just want to treat them like every other person I meet.”

“I wish everyone was like you,” I sighed. “It would make life so much easier. And more interesting.”

“Don’t you mean less interesting?” he asked, wrinkling his brow at me dubiously.

“I know what I said,” I said. “Anyway, I want to show you everything, and if you don’t ask questions, even stupid ones, you might miss something.”

“All right. I’ll try not to let my ego get in the way.”

I didn’t answer him for a moment, trying to gather my thoughts for the next thing. “And… I… hope that it’s interesting enough that you won’t ditch me to go traveling again for a while…”

He looked at me in surprise. “Of course it is. Besides, you think I’m going to leave a wonderful person like you after we came all this way together?”

I twisted my fingers together under the tea bowl. “You left me before.” I sounded whiny even to my own ears.

“Yes, and I learned many things on that journey, but I was a fool. I wouldn’t do it again. Never.”

I glanced at him sidelong, anxiously. “Never ever?”

“Never. Well…” he hesitated, his need for absolute precision winning out. “There might be desperately dire circumstances where I can’t be close to your side, but I don’t want to leave you again.”

“Even if we stay in Sacae forever?” Now I was just being petty. Why could I not stop my temper tonight? It was embarrassing. Was it nerves? Tiredness? Was it my time of the month soon?

He smiled shyly at me. “I imagine just as you’re going to show Sacae to me, you’d occasionally let me show the rest of the world to you.”

“That is true,” I said, and laughed a little nervously. “That’s really reassuring. Thanks.”

He reached out to take my hand and squeezed it. “I love you. I want to face life with you. I want you to show me your culture; you already know mine. You’re beautiful, Lyn, in every way. I’m so lucky to be here with you.”

I blushed, pulling my hand away again. All my crankiness today, and he was so patient with me, patient, but with his own inner strength, a quiet confidence that made me want to throw myself at him. “I love you too,” I said, forcing myself to look him in the eye. Come on, Lyn, you’ve made out with him passionately. Saying your true feelings should be a piece of cake after that. “You’re always there for me…”

“When I’m around…”

“Which is going to be from now on, right?”

“Yes, of course.”

“And you’re patient and kind with everyone but especially me and my hotheadedness. You were even prepared to give me up for some bizarre reason.”

“That was a mistake, too,” he said, dropping his gaze from my eye. “I said it would be fine then, but I don’t think I would have been able to bear it if you actually did it.”

“Will you stop interrupting me, please?” I said, and he shut his lips tightly, sucking on his lower lip, his eyes flicking up to me a bit nervously. Spirits, that was adorable. “I’m trying to say you’re a good man, Ceniro of Santaruz, and I want to be with you as long as you want to be with me. It might be difficult sometimes, with our cultures and personalities, but it’s completely worth it.”

He relaxed a little and smiled. “Um. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” I said, awkwardly. “And I’m sorry for how I’ve been acting today. I don’t know what it is.”

“Nerves?” he asked. “This is the first time we’ve been properly alone.”

I made as if to throw my empty tea bowl at him and he ducked. His reflexes weren’t terrible… “I’m not nervous because of that!”

“That wasn’t what I wanted to imply anyway!” He was still covering his head, but he looked at me again. “We’re not married yet.”

“Yes. Is that all right with you?”

“I was going to ask if it was all right with you.”

“Just to live together for a while without trying to make life more complicated?” I asked. “That’s fine with me. I want to marry you someday. But it doesn’t have to be right now. And getting too physical… risking children… it’s better to save these things, I think.”

He relaxed again and put his arms down. “Wow, that was just what I was thinking.”

“Is it really?” I asked anxiously.

He nodded. “I worried you might want to get married right away. I want to marry you, too, but this isn’t the right time.”

“We still haven’t known each other for very long.”

“Exactly.”

“And we just came back from a big, distracting, dramatic quest.”

“Which brought us closer together and made certain things clear, but yes, exactly.”

I nodded decisively. “But I would still like to kiss you occasionally.”

He laughed. “I think we can allow that. I desperately want to kiss you.”

I picked up the tea bowls. “I want to show you something first.”

“Isn’t that a bit soon?” he asked facetiously, and I did throw a tea bowl at him. It bounced off his shoulder. “Ow! I was joking!”

I ignored him and went back inside, to where I’d thrown my saddlebag. He must be feeling very comfortable with me if he joked like that, but with what I was going to show him, it was kind of… not nice.

He followed me in. “Sorry, Lyn.”

“I’ll forgive you for that too,” I said, recovering my equilibrium. I pulled a bundle of cloth out of my bag and handed it to him. “I got you this in Bulgar. I saw your tunic was wearing a bit thin around the elbows and such, and I thought… well, maybe you wouldn’t mind this?”

He unfolded it, and his face was lit up with surprise. Pleased surprise?

“This is what Sacaean people wear, isn’t it? Not what Rath and Guy wear, or even what Karel wears, but I’ve seen people wearing it.”

“It’s called a deel,” I told him. “Is it… Is it all right?”

He turned it around. “Of course it’s all right. It looks comfortable. Bit warm, maybe?”

“Less in summer than you might think. You’ll need a heavier one for winter, though.” Try it on, I want to see how you look in it. You’ll never look Sacaean, with your eyes and hair and skin, but I think it will look good on you.

“I guess I should try it on, huh?” He moved away from me and turned his back to me, fiddling with the buttons of his tunic.

I’d seen him with his shirt off before, early in the morning when he was crawling groggily out of the tent he shared with Wil and Guy, but if he wanted some privacy, I’d give it to him. Unless he couldn’t figure out how to put it on, but that wasn’t likely – they were the easiest things to wear. A hook at the collar, loop buttons at the shoulder, and the sash to hold it all at the waist. “The sash is right there. I’ll be outside.” I stepped outside and let the curtain door down behind me.

It only took him a minute or two, and then he stepped out into the sunset to join me.

I looked at him and smiled. As I thought, it looked great on him. It actually suited him really well. A rich burgundy colour, embroidered with grey-blue and black-blue and gold, down to his ankles, with a grey-blue sash. I’d need to get him some new boots next. “It looks good.” He was very handsome in this light. I was going to kiss him pretty soon, and from the way he was staring at me, he was thinking the same thing.

There was something I had to say first. “I have to warn you – if a Sacaean person sees you in this, they might not understand right away. They might not understand that you’re with me. They… They might be a bit racist, actually… and think you don’t take our culture seriously.”

He frowned a little. “But you want me to wear it, right?”

“I do. I think it suits you, and it’s part of what I want to show you about my life here. I just want to warn you what might happen.”

“Then I’ll wear it. It’s comfortable. And you want me to.” He smiled a little. “My family would have a fit if they knew I was giving up perfectly good Lycian fashions.”

“Well, they’re not going to know for a while, I guess.”

“No.”

We looked at each other for a while. Despite the randomness of our conversation, my heart was beating fast in my chest. “Um…”

“Lyn…” His voice was so soft.

He reached for me as I stepped towards him, and I was in his arms, my hands in his hair, pressing myself tightly against him. The wool of his new deel was soft under my fingers. His mouth was warm and firm on mine, not too gentle, not too rough.

We broke apart, breathing a little harder. “Let’s go inside,” he suggested, his voice even softer, and I nodded. He held back the curtain for me and followed me in closely, one arm still around my waist.

I’d made it almost to the centre of the ger, where we could stand straight again, when he wrapped both arms around me, holding me close against him. “I love you,” he whispered in my ear, and kissed my cheek.

Well, I wasn’t going to let him do all the kissing! I struggled until he released me enough that I could turn around and attack his face again. His tongue was against mine and it was as if Elfire had been cast in my chest, shooting right down to my groin. I moaned into his mouth and he sighed into mine. My breasts were pressed against him. That was okay, wasn’t it? They were kind of large, compared to most of the other women in the army. Maybe he liked large?

I took a step backwards and tripped over my saddlebag, starting to fall backwards. He caught me, but instead of pulling me back upright, lowered me gently to the ground, leaning over me.

“We haven’t unrolled the futons yet,” I panted.

“That’s fine,” he said, kissing me again.

Part of me panicked a little. We said we weren’t going to do this yet!

No, I told that part of me. It’s Ceniro. I trust him. And if he tries anything, I can take him down and kick him out of the ger. But he won’t try anything.

He didn’t try anything. His hands were still in mostly-respectable places, his tongue was still deeply in my mouth, and his slight weight was slowly settling onto me – yessss, more of that, please… Just a little couldn’t hurt, anyway…

His kisses began wandering all over the rest of my face, evading my attempts to kiss him back, not that I tried too hard. Aimlessly, tenderly, a little unsure of himself still… He brushed a spot just under my jaw and I gasped.

He drew back. “Was that all right?”

“Yes,” I said firmly. “That is a good spot.”

He bent his head again to investigate more. He was very methodical about it, and I stifled a giggle at the thought that he was analyzing me, planning out his kisses as carefully as he planned his battle strategies.

Eventually he pulled back, breathing hard, hair disheveled, lovely grey eyes shining. “We should… probably stop for the night.”

“Yeah,” I agreed, a little reluctant, but it was a good idea. Too much more of this and our careful plans would be for naught. Maybe we should just stick to hugging and holding and the occasional, less-passionate kiss. We had lots of time ahead of us, after all.

We unrolled the futons and I sent him outside while I changed into my lighter sleeping kimono and let my hair down.

He looked a little uncomfortable when he came back in, after he finished staring at my hair. “Um… should I sleep in this?”

“If you want to, though most people don’t,” I said.

“Then in what…”

I looked straight at him. “You’re not embarrassed about being shirtless in front of me, are you? I’ve seen you shirtless before.”

His eyes went wide. “You have?”

“Is it a big deal?”

He hung his head. “I guess not.” He pulled the sash off and picked the loops open. I knelt closer to him and undid the collar hook, helping him pull it off. He was blushing like crazy all the while.

His body was pale, smooth and skinny, relatively hairless. There was an angry red mark in the centre of his chest, just above his abdomen. “What’s this?”

He looked down and his blush faded, along with his bashful smile. “That’s where I got shot on the Dread Isle.” His voice was very quiet, very serious.

I looked into his eyes seriously, then carefully leaned forward and kissed the spot gently. “I wish I’d been there to protect you.”

“I wish I’d been paying enough attention to dodge.”

“That, too.” I was looking around his body for more scars, and there were a few, some on his arms, his shoulders, most of them very old. I knew there was one on his knee under his pants, as well. And across his throat, usually hidden by the high collars he wore, so faint in the dim light I almost missed it… “Did you get hit here too?”

He shivered as I reached out to touch it, but I had the idea it was less from desire and more from painful memories. “Yes.” His voice was a mere whisper, small and frightened.

I wanted to cry for him. Which was silly. It had all happened in the past, and I was here now, and I’d protect him from anything else that happened. I’d sworn it on the dragon. But that looked like a deathblow. How was he still alive? Twice, at least, he had cheated death by the narrowest of margins. “I’m sorry.” It seemed so inadequate.

Suddenly he reached out and pulled me to rest against him, my head on his shoulder, my hair cascading down his arm. “It’s all right.”

“You’re safe now. I won’t let anything like that happen again.”

“I know. And I’ll keep you safe, too.”

“Good.”

We held each other for a while, comforting each other against the somber mood that had grown around his scars. I was glad he couldn’t see most of mine. Someday I’d show him. But not tonight. Not just because I’d have to take my kimono off, and it was definitely not time for that, but… I didn’t want to be that vulnerable so soon, even though none of mine were quite as bad as those two of his. No wonder he’d hesitated.

Someday. I trusted him, but it wasn’t the right time.

“Well,” I said briskly at last, “you did actually get ready for bed, and I’m sure you’re tired, so you’d better sleep now.”

He managed a little smile. “Yeah. And it’s not so strange already, you… seeing me. You don’t mind my… skinniness?”

Compared to who? Hector? Hector’s not in the picture anymore. “You’re the way you are. I actually kind of like it.” If you were big and buff like Hector, you wouldn’t be you anymore. That’s more important than having the most attractive body in Elibe.

He peered at me. “You’re sure?”

“Of course I’m sure.” I put my hands on my hips. “Would I say it if I wasn’t sure?”

“I guess not.” He managed a slightly larger smile, followed by a yawn. “I guess I’m pretty tired. We learned a lot about each other today, huh?”

“Yes, we did,” I said cheerfully, and held out a blanket for him. “Come on, into bed, quick quick.”

“Yes, my lady,” he teased, and let me cover him with the blanket, even though I almost hit him again.

“None of that,” I scolded him, and he laughed.

He fell asleep quickly; it had been a long, strange day for him, with the building of the ger and all. I was awake a little longer, watching him until the light faded into complete blackness.

I do want to spend the rest of my life with him. There’s no one better for me. No one else I trust more. Not just with my life, but with my feelings, my hopes and dreams, my values. And I know he feels the same about me, which is the very best part. I know, he’ll never leave me. He’ll stay with me always, and we’ll hold our trust, our love, as the most sacred of bonds.

Even if it’s going to be a little difficult not jumping his scrawny bones just yet.