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Got the urge to do that thing where figments write letters to their author. Good times.
Note: may be spoilers, but whatever.
Figment lettrrrrres
Flairé: Well, I write you all the time anyway, soooo not much new to say. Basically, take care o’ yerself and see you around, and PLEASE get back to drawing webcomics because I’m feeling a leetle neglected? Like, we chat every day, but you need more of a nudge to keep drawing than that? Anyway, luv ya, bye!
Flaria: I want to complain about the imaginary ‘gender issues’ you have inserted into the Adhemlenei. Basically, no one I know has any problem with me being a stay-at-home princess who likes sewing and cooking and cleaning and staying out of the way and being supportive and helpful and dislikes hacking at things with swords. Mom can do whatever she feels necessary but she’s not doing it just because she’s a kalla. And you can tell anyone who thinks I’m reinforcing a negative stereotype to bite my sparkly silk-slippered heel. Okay, see you, honey!
Menad: Would be obliged if you’d remove more references to my ‘ego’ in your histories. I do think about other things than my convenience and entertainment, you know.
Marteth: Stop telling people about that thing. It’s not any of their business. In fact, you may as well leave that entire scene out of your history because it never actually comes up again.
Bayn: Hello. I was wondering… could you possibly convince my brothers to, you know, leave me alone once in a while? I haven’t had proper peace and quiet for several weeks and I’m starting to get annoyed. Thanks.
Gullac: Heyo Illinia, tell Bayn to lighten up! (giggles)
Mathaning: Hi Illinia, I think you need to get outside more! It’s just gorgeous out here! I know you want to use your computer for all the lovely things it lets you do, like drawing and writing, but there’s a whole world out here with sun and grass and wind and stuff like that! Sincerely, your friend Math
Leslie: Hey, I don’t want to be a bother or anything… but weren’t we going to watch a movie?? =D
Tam: Look, I died, okay? Stop trying to resurrect me because I am the most awesome character you ever made. (sings) I can face the faaaaacts…
Jalril: Um… um… I don’t want to criticise anything but could you please rewrite my scenes? They’re not what actually happened. I think Master Flairé told you them wrong. I think he forgot. Thank you very much!
Flaer: Please figure out what my duties are before making me king! And stop watching me while I’m being lovestruck. It’s hideously embarrassing.
Zela: …Why did I do any of these things? They are not illustrative of my hatred of injustice. They’re just me being irritated. Change please.
Tseo: Many apologies for bothering you, but I am wondering when you will get around to actually chronicling the founding of the Aarhckemlen. It is rather important, despite being rather painful to myself. Kirstril is busy but he sends his regards and his agreement, and Shlaes has not said anything but she looks it. Thank you for your consideration.
Yoeath: Respectfully requesting more scenes from non-kalmaeirin points of view. I know it’s mostly the kalmaei who are the focus of the war, but others influenced it and were present in it. I am not asking for more scene-time; only that you don’t forget about the dragons and griffons and us.
Muila: You’re showing me all wrong. I could never be so bluntly unsubtle as you have portrayed me. I am very offended and would like you to set the record straight. Also, I love him, and I always will. Stop insinuating otherwise.
Lyrestan: Not complaining about the lack of my face in your histories, I mean, it’s not important and I don’t care that much, but I do feel that I seem rather extraneous in them. I did stuff too! Also – I want to complain that when the cities were being built, my father and brother were much more popular than you seem to have shown them being. I mean, it was only a few twits on the council, not the whole flippin’ council. Just so you know. I can introduce you if you like. Why not we all go for dinner sometime? That’ll be nice and genial, and let you dress up! I know you like dressing up.
Gyoriing: Ma’am, I would like to suggest that being the Commander of the Lilemlen, I had more responsibilities than just being Flaer’s bodyguard. I feel this is important to emphasise, and I thank you for your attention to this matter.
Ffweiless: Hey! Hey! You need fewer pretty guys and more pretty girls. Yum. [note: I could not find Ffweiless after this letter, and several people went around with dark looks for several days]
Yoia: Want to know when my people’s exploits will get writted. Also when you’re going to figure out the name of my commander. Thx!